Sheep celebrating as John Motson retires

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Sheep breathed a sigh of relief this afternoon as commentator John Motson retired after 50 glorious years behind the microphone.

While sports fans took a few seconds to savour the golden moments captured by the 72-year-old, a Devon Closewool named Baaarbara was in party mood.

“Yes, he’s finally gone,” the three-year-old ewe cheered.

“I know to many people he was the voice of that Ronnie Radford goal, countless World Cups and CBeebies’ Footie Pups, but they’re not pulling the wool over my eyes.

“My mum and her sister were skinned so that bastard could have a couple more of his trademark coats.”

While Baaarbara and her friends were celebrating, farmer Giles Scrump suggested they shouldn’t get too carried away.

“I’m having her youngest for dinner next Sunday,” he said.

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