The Government came under mounting pressure last night after agreeing a multi-million-pound deal to sell arms to Saudi Arabia’s goalkeeper.
The World Cup minnows have been knocked out of the tournament after two matches, conceding six goals in the process.
“The deal will be important for the country as we look for more trading partners post-Brexit,” a Downing Street spokesman announced.
“It will also be important for the Saudis, as they chopped off their keeper’s arms following a minor misunderstanding about shoplifting.”
Campaign groups are calling on the Government to cancel the deal, fearing it could only escalate problems in the Middle East.
“Before you know it we’ll be selling them Harry Kane,” said protestor Ernie Crumpet.
“Because any Saudi who can shoot straight is given a weapon and told to take aim at Yemen.”