ASDA introduce VAR to speed up shoplifting prosecutions

Posted by

VAR will be introduced at ASDA in a bid to speed up shoplifting prosecutions.

The supermarket giant announced that monitors will be trialled at 30 different stores across the country from next week, where alleged thefts can be reviewed within seconds.

“We’re hoping to save hours of valuable police time,” said branch manager Alice Cheesecake.

“After seeing what a success VAR has become at the World Cup, we feel it will be the perfect tool to aid our security staff and officers of the law detect those slippery sods who attempt to trouser our Smart Price beans.”

If ASDA employees believe a shoplifting infringement has taken place they will be able to ask a colleague in a small box, for some reason dressed in a full shopfloor staff kit, to review footage from numerous cameras on a large screen.

“We hope a judgement can be made in seconds, offering minimal disruption to the shopping experience,” Cheesecake added.

“Honest members of the public will be free to go on their way, while anyone found stuffing a five-pack of George socks into their bag will be prosecuted.

“We also hope VAR can help in other ways, like when Neymar regularly throws himself to the ground in the frozen pizza section and attempts to win a compensation payout.”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s