ASDA introduce VAR to speed up shoplifting prosecutions

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VAR will be introduced at ASDA in a bid to speed up shoplifting prosecutions.

The supermarket giant announced that monitors will be trialled at 30 different stores across the country from next week, where alleged thefts can be reviewed within seconds.

“We’re hoping to save hours of valuable police time,” said branch manager Alice Cheesecake.

“After seeing what a success VAR has become at the World Cup, we feel it will be the perfect tool to aid our security staff and officers of the law detect those slippery sods who attempt to trouser our Smart Price beans.”

If ASDA employees believe a shoplifting infringement has taken place they will be able to ask a colleague in a small box, for some reason dressed in a full shopfloor staff kit, to review footage from numerous cameras on a large screen.

“We hope a judgement can be made in seconds, offering minimal disruption to the shopping experience,” Cheesecake added.

“Honest members of the public will be free to go on their way, while anyone found stuffing a five-pack of George socks into their bag will be prosecuted.

“We also hope VAR can help in other ways, like when Neymar regularly throws himself to the ground in the frozen pizza section and attempts to win a compensation payout.”

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