Russian prostitutes report alarming rise of thunderclap

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Russian prostitutes have reported an alarming rise of viking thunderclap during the World Cup.

The extreme strand of the sexually-transmitted disease is believed to have been brought to the country by fans from northern Europe.

“I think I got it from these two guys in Iceland shirts,” said sex worker Svetlana Klebb.

“One stood in the corner with a drum and, every time he banged it, his mate would thrust into me and make a weird ‘husss’ noise, starting slowly and building to a powerful conclusion.”

Klebb says the ferocity of the motion split the condom and left her infected.

“It’s uncomfortable, but we are grateful of the money,” she added.

“Two years ago it was England getting fucked by Iceland, not us.”

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