Jubilant England fans waking up to discover they’ve missed a whole day’s work

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Jubilant England fans have started waking up and realising that they’ve slept through a whole day’s work.

“I haven’t got a clue how that happened,” said office worker Mike Lyons.

“It was a pretty standard Tuesday night for me, give or take the 13 pints, dancing on top of a bus on Borough High Street and not getting home until 5am.

“I sent my boss a text to apologise, but he told me that my message woke him up. So I guess I’m in the clear.”

Lyons’ office was solely operated by a pissed off Welsh secretary and a fresh-faced intern who ‘isn’t really into football and prefers things like bands’ for the day.

“What time is it? Shit!” said bricklayer Dave Three when confronted by Swipe Football, with traces of St George’s flag face paints still on his hangover-pained face.

“I feel bad because I’ve missed a day’s work, but on the other hand I’m self-employed and normally do about this much work on a sunny day anyway.

“Ah, fuck it. It’s coming home.”

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